So, this was a post in a baby group I’m in and it made me think about how Eriana was, and still is.
It also made me think about the way we do things and made me wonder why.
It’s taught in classes and by books and by health visitors and midwives that at around 6 months our babies should be in their own rooms. Or at least that’s how a lot of people understand the advice given.
The actual advice given is that for at least the first 6 months they should be in a room with parent/s for all sleeps.
Eriana is a year old in two weeks and not only does she still prefer to sleep on me for naps, she also still sleeps in our bed because in the early stages she literally would just scream unless she was on me or my partner.
The poster asked ‘I’ve heard babys want to sleep only on you for the first 0-6 weeks. Is this true? Any tips for getting past this and getting baby to sleep alone?’
It was the wording that made me chuckle. Don’t get me wrong, the poor mum who’s posted this is only going by what she’s been told and this isn’t a dig at her at all.
But why on earth do we literally speed as fast as we can to chuck our baby’s away from us and into a room on their own so quickly. Why does our society (at least where I’m from) insist on baby’s being so independent for sleep so early. In my birth group, baby’s as young as 4 weeks old were being put in their own room away from their parents. Admittedly this is against NHS and the Lullaby Trust advice who state baby should be in a room with parents for at least the first 6 months, but I find even that a tad short.
Is it just me who finds it really unnatural to want to put their baby away from them so soon?
It’s a difficult one and I know a lot of people have vastly different opinions on the matter but to me it’s not natural to want to be away from your baby – especially at night.
Slings and baby carriers are what most people usually recommend for the day time but we never got on with those. Eriana used to scream in them. She didn’t want to be curled up around me, she wanted to be upright on me so she could see everything that was going on – but be as close to me as possible.
In the end I just learnt how to do almost everything one handed and I resigned myself to a lot of sitting down – when she naps now I can sometimes move her into her cot, say 50% of the time and other times I can move her into her toddler rocker chair.
There are phases obviously and as baby gets older it does get easier – although carefully lifting a one year old is much harder work on the arms!
My personal view is that if my baby wants to be close to me and is super clingy then I should be there.
Eriana will be moving into her own room sometime after her first birthday and tbh I can’t see there being many problems. She naps in her cot fine – when she allows me to move her.
I’m in no rush. I will miss the cuddles desperately.
What do you think about the way we do things? Do you think as a society we are in general too quick to push our baby’s away?